Somewhere along the way, setting the table became something we only do for guests. I’d like to gently argue for doing it more often — not formally, not perfectly, but with a little intention. It changes the pace of a meal. People linger. Phones stay in pockets. Dinner becomes an evening.

Start with the table itself

If you have a beautiful wooden table, let it show. Skip the tablecloth and use placemats or a runner instead. If your table is less lovely, a washed linen cloth hides a multitude of sins and instantly looks relaxed and elegant.

Layer, but lightly

• A placemat or charger to define each setting — woven, linen or simple wood.
• One plate, maybe a bowl. Stacking more than two pieces starts to feel like a restaurant.
• A cloth napkin, loosely folded or simply tucked under the fork.
• Glassware that matches your mood — tumblers for weeknights, stems for weekends.

Keep the centre low

Tall arrangements are lovely in photos and terrible for conversation. Keep anything in the centre of the table below eye level: a few bud vases, a bowl of fruit, a cluster of candles. You should be able to see everyone’s face.

A set table says: stay a while.

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Light the table, not the room

Once the food is out, dim the overhead lights and let candles or a low pendant do the work. Warm, low light is flattering to food and faces alike, and it signals — without anyone saying it — that this is time to slow down.

We do this most Sundays now. Nothing elaborate: soup, bread, a candle or two. But it’s become my favourite meal of the week.